THE PAINS OF GROWING UP
A child, aged three, in short pants was holding a balloon with his right hand and ice cream cone with his left. He was running aimlessly while the father followed. Shouting, kicking, crying boisterously. That was then, a few years ago, but it was just faint memory. Yes, for that boy some years back was I. Dad and I used to be great pats ceases to be now. We are at a distance from each other. He talks, I do not listen. I explain he does not admit. . . And this is just one phase of growing , a painful process of change.
My friends, any change is not easy at all.
"My son", I remember Dad admonished, "you get to be different. You are a grown up child now. Don't be hard on your younger sister. Don't hit her anymore," he said, when I once hit Alice.
A grown up I mused to myself so I can now go to Disco join friends and have the real taste of life". But he again interrupted, "My son, remember you are still young, a little boy".
A grown-up or a little boy. . . who am I really, an adult or a little boy?
Life is a series of surprises. What I used to enjoy when I was a kid will no longer be the same. Eventually and gradually things will take a shift. Doing things with Dad's assistance will slowly mean doing it on your own. Taking a risk may mean Yes; that's ok; or no, you should learn better, next time. Less supervision but more reprimands. . . failure of success I am starting on my own. Discovering things, using my discretion, deciding by myself are all parts of this painful process. I fail occasionally. I get discouraging remarks. I learn new ways. I experiment with peer groups. These characterize a teenage life. A bandwagon I am, I like to be equal with my members. What they have, I must also; what they do too. And to all these Dad prones, Mom disapproves, society condemns. . .
As I feel my way to independence in the little part of my brain, I have some reservation. . . What? Will this ever win my old's approval?
If not them misunderstanding is possible. Human as I am go against their standards different from mine. Inexperienced go against their standards different from mine. Inexperienced as I am I react opposite to what they expect to me. Uncertain as I am, I refrain to conform to what they desire. As a result we end up hostile to each one. Disobedient, recalcitrant and stubborn, they brand me. I feel short, misunderstood and unloved, I find solace and approval with my peer. They understand, they accept me because we have similar standard, we have the same world. they like me because we very well approve each other.
I want to be on my own, my parents are not ready to accept this fact. A child no more, an adult neither, I feel lost. We became alienated from each one. Growing is really painful just as advancing in years for parent is so.
All I ask of you is continue holding me- I still need you. Open communication line. Stop filling my days with 'Don't and No'. Listen to my unworded desire. You will always be part of me. Let us both put life and love to our days as we journey together to the mystery of life.