HALLUCINATIONS (DECLAMATION)

HALLUCINATIONS
Audrielyn E. Ulloa

This isn't happening.

This isn't happening.

This... This isn't... This isn't happening. I am not hallucinating. I'm not! I'm not crazed. I'm not paranoid...

...or am I?

You are paranoid.

No, no. I'm not paranoid! I'm perfectly fine. My mind's OK. I'm thinking straight. And I've never killed anyone so why ---

You've done it. You've killed her. Don't say, "Never." You murdered an innocent woman. It's your fault.

No, no, NOOOO. It's not my fault. I didn't kill her. She started it even when we were kids. She'd pick on me. She'd copy from me. And never once has she apologized so she deserves to die.

Wait. So you admit that you did kill her? You killed your classmate. Am I right?

I didn't kill her. I only said that she deserves to die. There's a difference. And why am I even talking to myself? I must be crazy.

So you admit that you are crazy. You've lost your mind. Am I right?

NO! I have not lost my mind. I'm just... I'm probably tired. I must be hallucinating.

So you admit that you are hallucinating?

Well, I --- I don't know. Don't talk to me. Go away.

Go away? How can I go away? I am with you. I am you. The two of us? We're meant to be. We're inseparable. We're attached to each other. We're connected. Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, go away! Oh please! Just go away. You're not helping.

I'm trying to help you. I'm telling you that you are crazy for talking to yourself. And, yes, you are a murderer because that's the truth. You killed your friend out of jealousy, out of anger, out of stress and out of hatred. She apologized to you but you didn't forgive her, did you?

I don't know.

You don't know? You hurt her. You tortured her. You made her suffer for hours.

She made me suffer for years! I was 12. I was young. Oh gosh, I'm hallucinating. This has got to stop.

See? You admitted it!

OK, fine. I killed her. But she deserved it.

Did I? Did I deserve it?

Who said that? Who said that? Answer me.

I did. And I won't stop until I kill you, until the whole world goes against you, until you cry your hardest, until you bleed to death.

Hold on. How are you alive?

Oh, I am alive. I've been alive in your mind. That day when you stabbed me in my sleep, that day when you ended my life, that day when you cursed out my name, that day when you said it was my fault why you turned into this, I died but the memory of me will always be in your mind.

I'm hallucinating. I'm hallucinating.

You killed me! I said I was sorry. I went to your house to ask for forgiveness. I told you how guilty I was for ruining your life. It was my fault and I was sorry but... but you took my life. You are a soulless creature, a merciless human being. You killed me. You did. But in your eyes, in your mind, I'm alive. Here! I'm really alive!

Go away!

Oh, poor me. Poor us. See what you did? Is it so hard to tell the police? You know, she won't go away until you confess. What happened to you guys a few years ago - that was in the past.

But the past ruined my life. She ruined my life.

I didn't ruin your life. You did.

No, go away. These are just hallucinations. Go away! Stay away from me! Stay away! Stay away! I said stay away! These are just hallucinations! Hallucinations!

Hallucinations or not, you're a murderer. You dispatched me right after you stabbed me. I was asleep. But before that, I was in tears. I was sad because you wouldn't forgive me.

Do you expect me to believe you?

Yes.

Well, I can't. You're dead and I will never be able to bring you back.

Because you killed her. That simple.

I killed her! Yes, I did. But she deserved it. I failed my exams because of her. I lost the game because of her. I didn't go to prom because of her. I will never forgive her.

Oh dear...

Like I said, these are just hallucinations! Stay away from me.

The cops are coming.

No, they can't... No. These are hallucinations. The cops aren't coming. They can't come.

They can come and they will come. You called them yourself. You confessed.

I don't want to go to jail! I'm scared.

So am I! But you did this to yourself.

I must be insane. I must be demented. I must be hallucinating.

Wait. Wait. What is that sound? My heart is pounding so fast. I'm so scared. Is it the cops? Oh no! No! The cops are here. I'm not hallucinating! I'm going to jail! No. No!

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