IT WAS TIME (DECLAMATION)

IT WAS TIME
Audrielyn E. Ulloa


I had to tell him, man. I had to. I needed to. It was time.

It was time for me to be honest about how I feel. That's why I did that. That's why I wrote that poem. That's why I gave it to him.

I can't take what I'm feeling for much longer. I simply had to tell him. I told him I loved him and didn't wait for him to say anything else because I knew what he was going to say. I knew that he would say no. I knew that he wasn't interested. He isn't interested. And he will never be interested.

I told him this:

"I've loved you for so long.
I don't know what else to say.
I feel that it is wrong
if I start with, 'Hey.'
Now, you know that you're the guy I was always referring to
and I'm sorry because I love you."

It was too much for me to handle. I simply had to declare it. Yes, I know I don't have the charms. I also know I don't have the body. But my love for him can last for eternity.

I love him. It was time for me to say it. It was time.

Yes, I understand that he's attracted to girls I don't have a chance with and that, my friend, is a painful thing to accept but I've learned to deal with it. I've learned not to mess with the other foot. I know my boundaries.

I know it.

I just know it.

But it was time for me to let out that girl who has been in love with him since the day I met him. I had to tell him that I needed him in my arms, that I needed to hear "I'm in love with you" rather than "I love you."

My life isn't perfect. The sea is prettier than me. The rainbow is more colorful than my heart. The sun is brighter than my eyes but that is me and that will always be me.

I never meant for things to get all awkward with us. I never meant for that to happen. But it wasn't my fault that I fell in love with him. I fell in love with the only classmate who actually remembers me, who actually cares for me, who actually considers me as his friend.

However, it was time.

I confessed. I was honest. I stopped lying for the sake of honesty and for the sake of our friendship. He was too good for me.

My friend, I love him so much. It's too bad he'll never love me. He'll never want me. He'll never care and he never will.

I am just the girl with the boring looks. I am short. But I am doing well in school. I am a stick-to-one person. So why can't he be attracted to me? Simple: because I am not good enough.

I am not that white. I am not that tall. I am not that skinny and I am not that clean. My family is pressuring me. I have anger issues. I don't know how to control myself.At least, I learned how to hold back my emotions when I'm around him.

At least, my intentions are clear and clean. I only want what's best for him. And if I'm not good enough, then I'M SORRY!

At least, I became really honest with him because that's what you wanted, right? For me to be honest to him? Right? My friend... My friend...

Right... Right...

Oh, who am I kidding? No one will ever love me. And even if I tried finding someone who becomes infatuated with me, I will not give him a try because that person isn't the guy I've fallen in love with. That person isn't the classmate I tried taking pictures of when he's not looking. That person isn't the guy of my dreams.

But... yes... my friend... it was time for me to tell him. It was time.